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Dealing with Ugly Envy

by Donna LH Smith

Envy—according to Webster’s, it means feeling of discontent and ill will because of another’s advantages, possessions, etc., resentful disliked of another who has something that one desires.

This goes back to Commandment #10: You shall not covet your neighbor’s house…etc.

It’s natural to want things for ourselves. When we’re unpublished, we want to be published. When we’re published, we want to be an award-winning, best-selling author. And yes, we know it will take time to “get there.” But in today’s culture, we want it now!

One thing I love about Christian writers is the lack of competitive spirit. And yet, I still feel envy sometimes. I want what they have. However, I don’t dislike them for having it. I want them to be blessed. But I want those blessings, too.

I never used to think I was envious, but a few years ago, God showed me I was. About seventeen years ago, I figured out what was “wrong” with me my whole life. I was adopted, introvert to the umpteenth degree, and extremely sensitive. God revealed to me that I had a root of rejection. Or otherwise known as rejection syndrome. The “clinical” name is Avoidance Personality Disorder. I’m healed of it now, but that doesn’t mean I’m perfect.

I’m not, but the rejection is like a healing scar. When it’s bumped, it hurts.

My first book is published, but because of my inherent introversion, it hasn’t sold enough to qualify for certain contests. I found others.

I still wish I could have qualified, but I saw someone do that once. Shamelessly almost beg on social media for people to buy their book just so they could qualify for that contest—that they eventually won.

I’m not built that way.

The Bible says we’ll reap in due season if we don’t give up. Life is a process. Let’s enjoy the journey. Who knows if down the road God will give us what we want, if we seek Him first.

I don’t know if I’ll ever be an award-winning, best-selling author, but I know that God is for me. I follow Him. No matter what.

Life is a process—let’s enjoy the journey, envy free. #ACFWBlogs #lifeisaprocess #enjoythejourney #freefromenvy @donnalhsmith Click To Tweet

Donna L.H. Smith lives in Lancaster County, PA, originally a Kansas prairie girl. She holds two college degrees in communications and certificate—CWG Craftsman. She is ACFW’s Mid-Atlantic Zone Director and Managing Editor of www.almostanauthor.com. You can find her at www.donnalhsmith.com, Facebook, and https://twitter.com/donnalhsmith. Her first novel is Meghan’s Choice.

 

 

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4 Responses to Dealing with Ugly Envy

  1. Thanks for sharing! Envy creeps in so easily. And I think it’s so important to know what active steps we can take–like a few steps back and a breath, recognizing the goodness of where we are right now.

  2. Donna, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. It’s almost like we can’t enjoy today’s blessings because we are so focused on what we want that we don’t have.

  3. DiAnn Mills says:

    Outstanding, Donna! So proud of you.

  4. Thanks Barbara. It IS good to take that deep breath, step back, and see where God has brought us – enjoy the journey, and try not to think about how l-o-n-g it’s going to take.

    And Sheri, We DO need to focus on what we DO have. I love your comment! It can be difficult when you’re not published, to see others get ahead when you’ve put in more time and money than they have.

    And DiAnn…thank you so much! I can’t wait to give you a hug at BRCWC!